


Panda's, Viagra and only each other

by MeLikeyTheseStories



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternative Universe - no wives, Cock Worship, Episode: Top Gear Bolivia Special, James' panda, Large Cock, M/M, News segment, Viagra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:36:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeLikeyTheseStories/pseuds/MeLikeyTheseStories
Summary: Richard had been very amused by James' comeback at Jeremy insulting the size of his cock due to his liking of the car during the news segment. He'd been awed when it'd turned out the comeback actually appeared very realistic.





	Panda's, Viagra and only each other

“You seriously want that?” Jeremy asks incredulously, glancing at the picture he’d pulled up while preparing for the news segment the following day. It is a very flashy car and, while Richard has to admit he doesn’t mind the look of it, very un-James-like. 

“Yes, I like it,” James replies. Jeremy glances at Richard, trying to get some support. 

“You do realize James, that the size of your cock is inversely correlated to your car. The flashier the car, the smaller it is,” Jeremy says, still sounding incredulous. It’s clear that he doesn’t like the car at all.

“You’re telling a man with a 1.2 litre Panda,” James says. Richard laughs and glances at Jeremy.

“Yeah, Jeremy, what do you have?” he asks. Jeremy scowls, knowing he has a flashy, powerful car.

“You have a mustang,” he retorts. Richard shrugs.

“I’ve never claimed to have the largest cock between us. That’d just look weird given how much taller you both are,” he says easily. James chuckles and even Jeremy cracks a smile. 

“Well, show us then, James. Prove that your cock is bigger than mine. Because with that car, I very much doubt it,” Jeremy says. James and Richard both glance at him incredulously now and he shrugs. “What, we’ve seen each other before, haven’t we? I wasn’t paying attention or I would’ve known the answer to this but I don’t see the problem.” Richard sighs, knowing Jeremy isn’t going to give this up easily.

To his surprise however, James gets up, checks to see that nobody else is present in their office, and pulls his jeans down. Jeremy follows his example and soon the both men are standing there with their legs and bottoms but, most importantly, cocks exposed. Jeremy is decent sized. Not too far from the average, probably, though perhaps a little longer, considering he is a tall man and it makes sense it carries over into other parts of his body. James however- is staggeringly big. 

“That can’t be comfortable in your trousers,” Richard observes, rather drily in the face of wanting to crack a joke to relieve the tension he’s suddenly feeling. James smiles a little, pleased that he’s finally managed to render Jeremy speechless. 

 

They don’t think about that event anymore for a good while. Well, except for the bit during the news segment the following day. Right up until they do the Bolivia special and drive high above sea-level where the air is getting very thin and all three of them are breathless just by sitting around and driving their cars. The cars is struggling as well, getting too little oxygen into their tanks to mix the fuel with. 

That’s when the producers reveal why there had been Viagra in ‘the box of many things’. According to them an unexplained side-effect of Viagra was that it kept the blood from clotting. It wouldn’t necessarily help with their breathlessness, but it would at least prevent more serious medical emergencies.

However, the Viagra lasts longer than the remainder of the road does and by the time they reach their next campsite, Richard still has a very stubborn erection that doesn’t feel as if it will abide soon. The producers at least decide it best not to film them while they’re tenting their trousers obscenely, considering it wouldn’t be difficult for viewers to guess what’d happened with seeing them take Viagra only minutes earlier (on air anyway, realistically it’d been like four hours).

“How long does it take before this flushes out of your system?” Jeremy complains, indicating his erection with a frustrated expression on his face. 

“It can last up to eight hours,” the response comes through the radio. Jeremy groans. 

“Up to eight hours. So if we’re unlucky then we still have,” he checks his watch, “Nearly four hours to go. How are they expecting us to deal with these stubborn erections throughout setting up camp and cooking?” 

“You think you’re struggling?” Richard asks, indicating James who is currently standing as he’s getting his drink from his car. Jeremy and Richard were both tenting obscenely but, compared to James, their erections were hardly noticeable. Richard is sure that if they were standing in a line, they could hide both their erections behind James’. Jeremy laughs.

“Not so pleasant having such an enormous cock now, is it?” Jeremy sounds pleased as punch. James opens his can of coke and regards both his colleagues rather drily. 

“You do realize cocks don’t grow anymore after your late teens, right? Early twenties, maybe.” 

“So?” Jeremy asks. 

“So I’ve been this size for the majority of my life. I’m well used to it.” Jeremy rolls his eyes and unzips and unbuttons his pants.

“Well, you can stand around there with a tent large enough to let the whole of Britain take cover there, I’m taking mine off. My jeans are killing me right now.” Richard, while not struggling as much as Jeremy considering his pants are much looser (and admittedly, he is smaller), still follows his example, knowing it will feel like a relief regardless. James follows suit, after finishing his coke, and he looks even larger with just his boxers on, the waistband slightly off his actual waist due to his cock’s size and weight.

 

“We could help each other,” Richard says after dinner, when they’ve been sitting around with their erections for the better part of six hours now. He glances at Jeremy first, since he believes he might be most inclined to agree to Richard’s plan. Jeremy had been puffing and groaning and complaining about his erection throughout the whole time they’d been here while James had been pretty silent throughout.

“Actually, it’s beginning to flush out of my system,” Jeremy exclaims happily, leaning back so that they can see that, indeed, his erection was beginning to become less obvious, a clear sign that it was disappearing. A glance at James, however, proves that Richard at least isn’t the only one who was stuck with it a while longer. Jeremy rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you two help each other. I’m going to have a bath. Crew told me there were some waterfalls here I could use as a shower.” He takes off, leaving Richard and James in his wake. Richard shuffles closer to James, who gestures to his tent. Richard laughs and jokes about captain OCD not willing to do it in the sand, but follows him inside without protest. James easily takes off his boxers and Richard follows only a short beat later and now they’re both fully naked and hard. 

“I’m going to need both hands for that, aren’t I?” Richard asks. James smirks cockily and wraps his hand around Richard. It mustn’t feel very big to him and Richard would be a bit embarrassed about that, except that he’s fairly sure everyone feels small to James. 

He bites his lip when his erection finally gets a bit of attention and wraps his own hands around James. His index finger is about a quarter of an inch shy from reaching the tip of his thumb and he extends further from Richard’s hands than he’d expected, considering the entire head and about two inches of his base are still exposed.

“Good lord, James, you really are enormous,” Richard can’t help but exclaim in his amazement. 

“Shut up, Hammond,” James says, though he sounds amused. Richard supposes he’s far from the first one to ever be amazed by James’ size. 

“Did you ever have a girlfriend who was a virgin? She must’ve been terrified of sex for some time after you,” he laughs. James just rolls his eyes, a smile on his face as he begins moving up and down Richard’s shaft while Richard tries to give as good as he gets on James’ cock. 

After having been erect for so long, his cock is incredibly sensitive. As a result, it doesn’t take long before he begins bucking up into May’s fist, enjoying the friction and movement as he tries to finally achieve a climax after torturing his cock all day. James appears to be experiencing much the same and Richard focusses on keeping his hands in tandem so James has no problem thrusting in and out of his grasp. Pretty soon James is climaxing and Richard lets him buck into his fists while he continues to ride it out, then James goes back to helping him more earnestly and Richard orgasms as well, his entire body experiences the pleasure as today’s arousal finally reaches its peak. 

“We should take Viagra more often,” Richard jokes and James laughs.


End file.
